[Right. Hadrian, Throndir, and Adaire... Hella pauses to try to remember what happened last night.]
No, I think... I was the one who wandered off. I think I might've been mad. I don't remember that clearly.
[Hella tries to handle herself, starting with her mussed hair, fixing it into an approximation of her usual bun.]
It doesn't really matter. I know where they're going. I can catch up when I need to. Knowing them, they've probably gotten distracted by some strangers' frivolous problems, anyway...
[She sighs and picks up a plain chocolate donut to start on. Suddenly, though, she remembers something and pats her pockets.]
Wait, fuck, where's my kettle? Don't tell me I left it with them.
[She groans. That was her one luxury she allowed herself for this trip. And she doesn't typically allow herself luxuries.]
I was just, uh, gonna make it so you didn't have to get up or whatever. But suit yourself.
[Why do things without magic when you can do things with magic? Not that he's incredible with weak fire spells, and like, scorching ray would be an incredible amount of overkill for like a cup of tea.]
If your friends have it, they'll probably give it back. Or you can just, like, take it.
[No adventures, no worries, just donuts. And also it'll only be a matter of time before Magnus likely comes looking, and Magnus will plow through a box in about a minute, and he wants these donuts. So more donut table time it is.]
[But she can't really fault him for that, because who's the one that's given up on catching up with her companions right away? Yep, it's Hella. And, also, she just really hates wasting food.
She takes a bite out of a chocolate doughnut to punctuate that thought.]
Do you drop everything to get ahold of free food a lot?
[I mean, what's he gonna do, deny that? He's super lazy... when it's funny, and suits him, which is most of the time.]
I mean, there wasn't much goin' on right now anyway. Between jobs, happened to be close, free donuts. Seems like a no-brainer to me. Besides, once uh, once my teammate gets here he'll plow through these in like, three minutes, and I wanna eat before then.
[Are you distributing her doughnuts for her... Rude.
She starts doublefisting doughtnuts because now she definitely wants to eat as much as she can before whoever it is arrives. Maybe she should be more worried about her companions apparently running off without her and less worried about the distribution of her doughnuts, but she's very hungover right now. Her priorities are a little skewed.]
[He was gonna respond like, properly, but watching her just desperately shove donuts in her mouth just starts him in laughing and now he wants to roll with it.]
Oh, I've got like, a homing beacon? Yeah, I'm not allowed to be, uh, out and about without supervision, so I'm sure they'll find me quickly and like, confiscate everything. Including you maybe. You might know too much now.
['Don't bullshit her', please, Hella, all he does is bullshit. All of his shit is 100% bull'd.]
Nah, he'll just find me. Honestly. I disappear and he just, uh, he gets too lonely, and poof, he's here. Consuming every food in his path. Just the perils of my whole life, having to deal with that. It's why I'm skinny. He just eats everything.
[He's still eating, too. Fight him irl. (Don't do that.)]
[He outright laughs, because he kind of feels like that's what Merle would say about him. In addition to, like, condemning him for it while simultaneously trying to convince the party to murder every goddamn npc they come across.]
Hey, I'll reap the benefits of that one.
[How many has he eaten?? It doesn't matter, nothing matters, he'll be sick later and it will have been ENTIRELY worth it.]
So is that your, uh, your current thing? It's just snow all the time? Or is snow in summer like your normal gig?
[Yeah, Merle sounds a lot like Hella in that case, actually.]
It's meant to be summer, anyway. Now people are calling it the first winter in centuries. Never snowed outside the Mark of the Erasure, then on the hottest day of the year a blizzard starts up. It hasn't let up for three months now.
[Yeah, Hella will just work off all these donuts. She deserves them, okay.]
Now the sun's stopped rising on top of it. I can see the late prelate's sermon now, or what it would have been: [She performs a very obviously terrible impression of Prelate Lucius, one that's so clearly not anybody that it can't possibly be accurate.] Eternal night! The Living God has turned his back on us all!
[He laughs again at her impression, even if he doesn't know who she's mocking in the least, but he will always appreciate a good drag.]
Wow. You're dealing with, uh, world ending sort of stuff. How'd you end up in charge of something so big? Or did you just, uh, stumble into somebody's problems and now it's yours?
[Which is usually what happens. When Taako accepted a job to escort some goods and make a bunch of money, a secret organization operating out of a fake moon was not what he expected to find. Or join. Or now be like, a prized member of? Shrug.]
[She scratches at her brow, taking a deep breath. She manages to smear some sugar glaze on her forehead in the act of it.]
I don't know how much of it has to do with what we're doing. If you ask me, I think the world's just finally finishing what it started with the Erasure. These are ill omens.
[A pause as she ponders something.]
You know, that said, when I was visiting my home, before the sun went down for the last time, we weren't getting snow there at all. Maybe the mainland really is just cursed.
[She wants to say, in that case, "More power to Ordenna to take over," but... she's already a traitor, isn't she? Fucking Adaire.]
[He shrugs a bit, pushing down the giggle at food on her face.]
Sounds like you got somewhere to go if things go south. If, uh, that's your thing. Me, I always try and keep an escape route.
[Always ready to go off the grid! Always expecting things to go, uh, horribly wrong, which, when you're Taako, happens often.]
Y'know, I know it's, uh, the noble thing to do, try and save the world and everything, but if you're already to the point where nature's turning against you, might be time to bail.
Edited (dw that wasn't the icon I picked) 2017-05-30 00:10 (UTC)
Ugh. I'm a little too... [She makes a vague hand gesture.] involved at this point. Besides, I have to live in this shitty world, too. And for all they say the future is Ordennan...
[Is it bad form to express doubt in her land's right to rule? She is already a traitor. Maybe this is just her ties to the mainland coming back to haunt her yet again. Because, on second thought... she really has no reason to doubt Ordenna's might. They're uniquely equipped to eradicate the curse from the world, of course, and also...
Who knows, they might actually do something big like outlaw magic the world over. That would make things simpler, wouldn't it?]
I don't know what's right, really. Things happen and I look back and think I was wrong after all, time and again. Maybe I should let the mainland squabble over how to fight off Heat and Dark, and snowy summers, and falling stars, and the curses of Gods.
[She almost expects Adelaide to have something to say in her head about that, but she's as quiet as ever. Maybe the quiet is more telling.]
[Jeez, this is getting into some serious biz. It's making him think about the decisions he's going to have to make in the coming future; sure, there's no real 'leaving' the Bureau, but they're going to run out of relics eventually. Whatever's going on with the Red Robe that's stalking them is going to come to a point. There's... something, coming.
But he doesn't have to think about it now, so he won't. It's just that simple, and will continue to be, for as long as he can push it aside.]
I mean... if it's somethin' you care about, there's no shame in pushing for it. In for, uh, getting something that matters to you fixed. Or helping people you wanna help.
[There's something to be said for having a stake in things, even if it's just a few things. If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for everything.]
Just, y'know. Self care is having a way out of the impending apocalypse if there's nothin' else you can do.
[Yeah, that sounds reasonable enough. Hella just isn't sure what it is she cares about anymore, or even how she can reconcile the things she thinks she might care about with one another.
Whatever. If it's worth thinking about, it's worth thinking about tomorrow.]
I'm too fucking hungover for this. I think I ate way too many donuts.
[She's at a point now where she's just gonna resign herself to making a big mistake, correcting it, elevating it to a worse mistake, correcting it, ad nauseum until the whole of society collapses. She can always deal with repercussions when they come. She's probably never going to change and start doing the right things.
Maybe this is why Hadrian looks at her like that. Like his very own work in progress.]
[He almost lets out a small breath of relief, filling his mouth with another donut instead. Donuts and being drunk are so much easier to talk about, even if those thoughts hit... a little close to home.]
Now that's relatable.
[He raises his donut in a toast and then devours the whole thing. He should probably stop. He's gonna feel like shit all day.
God, but it would be so worth it.]
Can I take a box of these? It'll make me look really good with very little effort.
Hell yeah. Take as many as you want, I'm sure not gonna eat 'em all.
[She takes a box that's still full and presses it into his arms. She thinks about apologizing for bringing up her bullshit, but decides it goes best unsaid. She'd rather just pretend it didn't happen at all. Besides, he asked.]
Hell, take a sword or two, as well. I'm attached to mine. I could get into the business of collecting swords, but...
[She shrugs. You know. Starting a new hobby is a lot of time and money.]
[See, this is more the Taako experience, people giving him food and things for free. He'd push money but he's not stupid and he's pretty sure this girl could kill him with her bare fucking hands.]
How many swords do you have? That's such a fucking conversation segway, like, hey, here's some donuts for the company whatever, also here's a bunch of swords, just to have. For goodwill. Charity.
[Charity swords! To help children who've had hands cut off or whatever. Or dwarves who've had their whole arm lobbed off. Priorities.]
Well, I didn't wake up with just donuts. I've got three extra swords I know nothing about. Just woke up with this entire load of things that don't belong to me. Or they didn't, but now they do.
[She scoots aside a little bit to reveal, sure enough, a pile of swords. They range from rather cheap-looking to actually kind of nice.]
[He snorts, and it's ugly. He'll take some cool swords though. Add more to his decor. Wave more fancy swords in front of Magnus that he can't have. He could start a collection of swords he can't use because his strength score sucks and also he knows magic so what does he even need a sword for???]
Technically, I thiiiiiink I have a shortsword uh, somewhere. But who needs that when you've got magic? Except for, y'know, making yourself look super dangerous with pointy shit.
[He sort of affectionately pats his umbrella tucked by his waist, whatever that means. Gotta love those unconventional staves.]
[Whups, okay, suddenly he's thinking he pushed his luck too far, even if he doesn't quite know why. He scoots back just a little, which won't quite save him if she decides to pick up a sword but might get her to miss if she decides strangling him is the quicker option.]
Listen, uh, I'm not gonna cast anything on you or whatever, I literally just came here for the donuts. I am the polar opposite of a dude lookin' for a fight.
[Is he curious? Yes. Does he want to live way more than he wants to know what's going on here? Abso-fuckin-lutely. He doesn't need his staff to cast, and he's ready at a moment's notice if she makes a grab for him to Blink right out of this plane and start running.]
Oooookay then! Like I said, really invested in, uh, not throwin' blows here.
[He's still taking those donuts though but also getting the fuck out of here asap, scrambling to be Not Under This Table Anymore.]
Thanks for these! And, uh, the conversation, before you decided I was a heathen or whatever.
Yeah, thanks for not letting me in on the fact you fucking... turn shit to gold or whatever.
[She's done here. She'll let him out, and she'll let him live, but that's the end of it. She already regrets suffering Fantasmo's presence. She doesn't need another self-proclaimed wizard on her hands.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She finishes off her donut and wipes her hand on her clothes before offering it for a handshake.]
Hella. Is my name, I mean. So you don't have to call me Donut Woman.
fuck captcha we do what we want
Taako. Always a pleasure to meet someone who's feeding me.
[He polishes off the rest of the donut with very little finesse, but seems entirely pleased with himself.]
So you do this sleeping under tavern tables thing often? Or did the rest of your group, uh, run off without you and leave you with the bounty?
hell yea
[Right. Hadrian, Throndir, and Adaire... Hella pauses to try to remember what happened last night.]
No, I think... I was the one who wandered off. I think I might've been mad. I don't remember that clearly.
[Hella tries to handle herself, starting with her mussed hair, fixing it into an approximation of her usual bun.]
It doesn't really matter. I know where they're going. I can catch up when I need to. Knowing them, they've probably gotten distracted by some strangers' frivolous problems, anyway...
[She sighs and picks up a plain chocolate donut to start on. Suddenly, though,
she remembers something and pats her pockets.]
Wait, fuck, where's my kettle? Don't tell me I left it with them.
[She groans. That was her one luxury she allowed herself for this trip. And she doesn't typically allow herself luxuries.]
YELL HEA
Yeah, sounds like your general party dynamics or whatever. I got a guy like that, too. Gotta stop to help everybody.
[He takes another bite, and replies to the second part with his mouth full. Again. Why is he like this.]
Wait, like, heat kettle? For like water and stuff? I can do that, here, gimme.
[He holds out his hand. It's got some chocolate on it and is probably kind of sticky because he's a trainwreck, but he is a magical trainwreck, so...]
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[She glances down at his empty, sticky, offered hand, then back up at his face.]
What do you want? Water? You're not... [She sighs.] I know you can boil a pot of water, it's only that I just bought this kettle.
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I was just, uh, gonna make it so you didn't have to get up or whatever. But suit yourself.
[Why do things without magic when you can do things with magic? Not that he's incredible with weak fire spells, and like, scorching ray would be an incredible amount of overkill for like a cup of tea.]
If your friends have it, they'll probably give it back. Or you can just, like, take it.
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[And here's Hella, thinking she's still in Twinbrook and not some random city in Faerun.]
It's fine. I'll find them eventually. I need to get to that tower, too, but... there are all these doughnuts that have to be eaten.
[She can't just waste these ten full boxes of doughnuts.]
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[No adventures, no worries, just donuts. And also it'll only be a matter of time before Magnus likely comes looking, and Magnus will plow through a box in about a minute, and he wants these donuts. So more donut table time it is.]
Just free shit 'n hangin. That's how I do.
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[But she can't really fault him for that, because who's the one that's given up on catching up with her companions right away? Yep, it's Hella. And, also, she just really hates wasting food.
She takes a bite out of a chocolate doughnut to punctuate that thought.]
Do you drop everything to get ahold of free food a lot?
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[I mean, what's he gonna do, deny that? He's super lazy... when it's funny, and suits him, which is most of the time.]
I mean, there wasn't much goin' on right now anyway. Between jobs, happened to be close, free donuts. Seems like a no-brainer to me. Besides, once uh, once my teammate gets here he'll plow through these in like, three minutes, and I wanna eat before then.
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[Are you distributing her doughnuts for her... Rude.
She starts doublefisting doughtnuts because now she definitely wants to eat as much as she can before whoever it is arrives. Maybe she should be more worried about her companions apparently running off without her and less worried about the distribution of her doughnuts, but she's very hungover right now. Her priorities are a little skewed.]
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Oh, I've got like, a homing beacon? Yeah, I'm not allowed to be, uh, out and about without supervision, so I'm sure they'll find me quickly and like, confiscate everything. Including you maybe. You might know too much now.
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Don't bullshit me. You talked like he was on his way, and you do seem like the sort of person that would need supervision.
[Annoyed chomp of donut. Chew chew chew.]
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Nah, he'll just find me. Honestly. I disappear and he just, uh, he gets too lonely, and poof, he's here. Consuming every food in his path. Just the perils of my whole life, having to deal with that. It's why I'm skinny. He just eats everything.
[He's still eating, too. Fight him irl. (Don't do that.)]
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If he steals your food, threaten to punch him. That's what I'd do.
[And then, as if what she just said was perfectly normal, she primly eats a donut.]
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Oh man, no. I am not the punchy type. Besides, he could hit me, uh, way harder. Not like he's like that, though.
[Magnus doesn't really get food defensive. He's good like that.]
You sound like you've got experience from that tone.
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[She looks away, in thought as she remembers her companions.]
Let's just say I'm glad I'm sharing with a stranger right now, rather than them. It's been a long, snowy summer.
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Hey, I'll reap the benefits of that one.
[How many has he eaten?? It doesn't matter, nothing matters, he'll be sick later and it will have been ENTIRELY worth it.]
So is that your, uh, your current thing? It's just snow all the time? Or is snow in summer like your normal gig?
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It's meant to be summer, anyway. Now people are calling it the first winter in centuries. Never snowed outside the Mark of the Erasure, then on the hottest day of the year a blizzard starts up. It hasn't let up for three months now.
[Yeah, Hella will just work off all these donuts. She deserves them, okay.]
Now the sun's stopped rising on top of it. I can see the late prelate's sermon now, or what it would have been: [She performs a very obviously terrible impression of Prelate Lucius, one that's so clearly not anybody that it can't possibly be accurate.] Eternal night! The Living God has turned his back on us all!
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Wow. You're dealing with, uh, world ending sort of stuff. How'd you end up in charge of something so big? Or did you just, uh, stumble into somebody's problems and now it's yours?
[Which is usually what happens. When Taako accepted a job to escort some goods and make a bunch of money, a secret organization operating out of a fake moon was not what he expected to find. Or join. Or now be like, a prized member of? Shrug.]
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I don't know how much of it has to do with what we're doing. If you ask me, I think the world's just finally finishing what it started with the Erasure. These are ill omens.
[A pause as she ponders something.]
You know, that said, when I was visiting my home, before the sun went down for the last time, we weren't getting snow there at all. Maybe the mainland really is just cursed.
[She wants to say, in that case, "More power to Ordenna to take over," but... she's already a traitor, isn't she? Fucking Adaire.]
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Sounds like you got somewhere to go if things go south. If, uh, that's your thing. Me, I always try and keep an escape route.
[Always ready to go off the grid! Always expecting things to go, uh, horribly wrong, which, when you're Taako, happens often.]
Y'know, I know it's, uh, the noble thing to do, try and save the world and everything, but if you're already to the point where nature's turning against you, might be time to bail.
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[Is it bad form to express doubt in her land's right to rule? She is already a traitor. Maybe this is just her ties to the mainland coming back to haunt her yet again. Because, on second thought... she really has no reason to doubt Ordenna's might. They're uniquely equipped to eradicate the curse from the world, of course, and also...
Who knows, they might actually do something big like outlaw magic the world over. That would make things simpler, wouldn't it?]
I don't know what's right, really. Things happen and I look back and think I was wrong after all, time and again. Maybe I should let the mainland squabble over how to fight off Heat and Dark, and snowy summers, and falling stars, and the curses of Gods.
[She almost expects Adelaide to have something to say in her head about that, but she's as quiet as ever. Maybe the quiet is more telling.]
Yeah. Maybe I should.
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But he doesn't have to think about it now, so he won't. It's just that simple, and will continue to be, for as long as he can push it aside.]
I mean... if it's somethin' you care about, there's no shame in pushing for it. In for, uh, getting something that matters to you fixed. Or helping people you wanna help.
[There's something to be said for having a stake in things, even if it's just a few things. If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for everything.]
Just, y'know. Self care is having a way out of the impending apocalypse if there's nothin' else you can do.
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Whatever. If it's worth thinking about, it's worth thinking about tomorrow.]
I'm too fucking hungover for this. I think I ate way too many donuts.
[She's at a point now where she's just gonna resign herself to making a big mistake, correcting it, elevating it to a worse mistake, correcting it, ad nauseum until the whole of society collapses. She can always deal with repercussions when they come. She's probably never going to change and start doing the right things.
Maybe this is why Hadrian looks at her like that. Like his very own work in progress.]
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Now that's relatable.
[He raises his donut in a toast and then devours the whole thing. He should probably stop. He's gonna feel like shit all day.
God, but it would be so worth it.]
Can I take a box of these? It'll make me look really good with very little effort.
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[She takes a box that's still full and presses it into his arms. She thinks about apologizing for bringing up her bullshit, but decides it goes best unsaid. She'd rather just pretend it didn't happen at all. Besides, he asked.]
Hell, take a sword or two, as well. I'm attached to mine. I could get into the business of collecting swords, but...
[She shrugs. You know. Starting a new hobby is a lot of time and money.]
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How many swords do you have? That's such a fucking conversation segway, like, hey, here's some donuts for the company whatever, also here's a bunch of swords, just to have. For goodwill. Charity.
[Charity swords! To help children who've had hands cut off or whatever. Or dwarves who've had their whole arm lobbed off. Priorities.]
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[She scoots aside a little bit to reveal, sure enough, a pile of swords. They range from rather cheap-looking to actually kind of nice.]
And I noticed you weren't armed.
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Technically, I thiiiiiink I have a shortsword uh, somewhere. But who needs that when you've got magic? Except for, y'know, making yourself look super dangerous with pointy shit.
[He sort of affectionately pats his umbrella tucked by his waist, whatever that means. Gotta love those unconventional staves.]
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Her smile drops, her eyes widen for a moment... only to narrow just as suddenly.]
Yeah. I guess you don't need a sword.
[She wipes her chin. But then she just fucking laughs.]
God. God! I'm such an idiot. If I'm already a traitor, why not make friends with a fucking mage while I'm at it!
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Listen, uh, I'm not gonna cast anything on you or whatever, I literally just came here for the donuts. I am the polar opposite of a dude lookin' for a fight.
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Yeah. Yeah. That's fine.
[She's not going to try to kill him. He doesn't even know what's wrong with himself. He's just a clueless mage. Maybe he's never met an Ordennan.
You know, if she did actually kill him... Maybe that could make a good case for heading back to Ordenna with her head held high.
She considers this at length, staring silently at him appraisingly.]
Mmmmmmmmm... Nah. I think you should take your donuts and go.
[He's just one magic idiot. She's suffered worse to live.]
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Oooookay then! Like I said, really invested in, uh, not throwin' blows here.
[He's still taking those donuts though but also getting the fuck out of here asap, scrambling to be Not Under This Table Anymore.]
Thanks for these! And, uh, the conversation, before you decided I was a heathen or whatever.
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[She's done here. She'll let him out, and she'll let him live, but that's the end of it. She already regrets suffering Fantasmo's presence. She doesn't need another self-proclaimed wizard on her hands.]
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[He says it, and then just like... regrets it, instantly, because why does he have a fucking death wish.]
Aaaaanyway, see ya!
[And he just fuckin' bolts.]